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The Sexiest Quests in The Witcher 3

The Witcher 3 is a game for adults. Even when you choose not to participate in the romance sidelines, there are some great quests that are fun to play and turn up the heat in a way that most RPGs can’t match (looking at you Dragon Age: Inquisition). These are the best.

Dead Man’s Party

This quest shines because it busts Geralt out of his normal dour persona and lets him run loose. Part of the excellent Hearts of Stone expansion, Oldierd von Everec requests that you take his brother out for one last night of debauchery. The catch is that Vlodimir von Everec is dead and that night of fun will force you to allow his spirit to take over for ‘a cracking good time’.

Accompanying you is Shani, an old friend and scholar in Oxenfurt, who knows about the von Everec family and assists you in finding Vlodimir’s tomb and is your date for the wedding. Hilarity ensues as you chase pigs, play Gwent with halflings, wear some excellent ass ears and flirt with the ladies.

The successful completion of this quest gives Vlodimir his last request and paves the way to the Shari romance quest A Midnight Clear, but Dead Man’s Party remains one of the highlights of the expansion.

High Stakes

While you can choose to end this quest without the sex option, the idea of high stakes gambling and fist fighting in a whorehouse alone are pretty hot. After completing the other Gwent based quests (and reading my guide to improving your Gwent game), head over to the Passiflora where you’ll be invited to join the high stakes Gwent match that just happens to be starting when you arrive.

After you beat the halfling Bernard, you’ll meet former spy and current trouble maker, Sasha, on the balcony to discuss just stealing the money and splitting it. Before you can make good on your plan either way, you need to finish the tournament. Sail through the last three contestants and successfully fist fight Finneas and you’ll find out that someone beat you to the theft.

Now it’s a race against time to find the thief. Once you’ve tracked him down at his warehouse hideout, you can split the earnings with Sasha and decided if you want to see more of her or not. This is a totally optional quest but a really fun one if you want to squeeze more out of the game.

A Matter of Life and Death

This quest starts out fairly standard, but ends at the Vegelbud’s exclusive garden party with strippers, Gwent and some kinky masks. You start out with Triss in Novigrad and learn that Albert Vegelbud needs to be smuggled out of the area and you’re the only one who can help.

In order to complete this task, you’ll need to accompany Triss to a party at the Vegelbud’s estate. Unfortunately, your current look isn’t going to cut it so head out to Elihal’s shop for some fancy duds and a few masks. The change in clothes isn’t completely necessary, but Triss will be extremely upset if you don’t make an effort for her.

Head over to the Vegelbud’s and surrender your weapons to the guard. Once inside, a random dude will besmirch Triss’ honor. You can choose to defend her or not and make your way to the fountain to speak with Lady Vegelbud who suggests the best time to sneak her dumbass brother out. Find him and finalize the plans.

After this, you get to spend some quality time with Triss, enjoying the fireworks and laying the ground to romance her in the later quest, Now or Never. She’s had a little too much wine and runs into the maze where you need to track her down and kiss her, under the fireworks. Circumstances end your kiss but that loving feeling between you and Triss is back and it’s up to you to decide how you want it to end as you move forward.

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